Introduction
Stubbornness is a personality trait that can be detrimental to relationships and difficult conversations. It’s the refusal to accept others’ opinions or change one’s own beliefs. But it doesn’t have to be that way; there are ways to stop being stubborn and make room for compromise. This article will explore tips for identifying stubborn behavior triggers, analyzing motives, practicing empathy, listening more than talking, expressing yourself, and letting go of your pride.
Identify Your Triggers
The first step in breaking out of stubborn behavior is to identify what triggers it. According to psychologist Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, “It takes a lot of courage to recognize our triggers. Once we do, we can begin to work on changing them.”
Analyze situations that trigger your stubborn behavior. Are you more likely to dig in your heels when someone challenges your beliefs? Do you become argumentative when you feel like you’re not being heard? Acknowledge which scenarios bring out your stubbornness and take steps to avoid those triggers.
Analyze Your Motives
Once you’ve identified your triggers, consider why you’re being stubborn. Psychologist Dr. Roberta Lee suggests asking yourself, “Am I feeling threatened or am I trying to protect something?” Analyzing your motives can help you better understand why you’re being stubborn and how to change those motives.
For example, if you’re being stubborn because you feel like your opinion isn’t being respected, remind yourself that you don’t need to prove your worth through stubborn behavior. If you’re being stubborn to protect yourself from getting hurt, remember that it’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes. Analyzing your motives can help you take a step back and assess the situation objectively.
Practice Empathy
When you find yourself in a situation where you’re tempted to be stubborn, practice empathy. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and consider how they might feel. According to psychologist Dr. Sarah Schewitz, “Empathy helps us put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and better understand their perspective. This can help us come to a mutual understanding and resolution.”
If the other person is being stubborn, try to understand why they might be feeling this way. Are they feeling threatened or are they trying to protect something? Is there something going on in their life that might be causing them to be more combative? Practicing empathy can help you find a common ground and reach a resolution.
Listen More Than You Talk
When having a difficult conversation, it’s important to listen more than you talk. Don’t impose your opinion on the other person; instead, listen to their perspective and arguments. According to relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, “The key to overcoming stubbornness is to listen more than you talk. Listening allows you to hear and understand the other person’s point of view.”
Try to focus on understanding, rather than just hearing, what the other person is saying. Ask questions to clarify any points that may be confusing and repeat back what the other person has said to confirm that you’ve heard them correctly. Listening more than you talk can help you come to an agreement without resorting to stubborn behavior.
Express Yourself
It’s important to express yourself in a constructive manner. Don’t bottle up your feelings; instead, explain your point of view in a respectful way. According to psychologist Dr. Susan Heitler, “Expressing yourself constructively will help you get your point across without being stubborn. Use ‘I’ statements to explain your feelings and perspectives without attacking the other person.”
For example, instead of saying “You’re wrong,” say “I disagree because…” This allows you to express your opinion without coming across as confrontational or stubborn. It also shows the other person that you value their opinion and want to come to a resolution. Expressing yourself in a constructive manner can help you resolve a disagreement peacefully.
Let Go of Your Pride
Finally, it’s important to be willing to compromise and let go of your pride. According to author and entrepreneur Brian Tracy, “If we want to achieve real progress in our relationships, we must learn to let go of our pride and be willing to compromise.”
Letting go of your pride doesn’t mean you have to give up your beliefs or values. Instead, it means being open to new ideas and different perspectives. It means being willing to listen to the other person’s point of view and finding common ground. Letting go of your pride can help you come to a resolution without resorting to stubborn behavior.
Conclusion
Stubbornness can be detrimental to relationships, but it doesn’t have to be. By identifying your triggers, analyzing your motives, practicing empathy, listening more than you talk, expressing yourself, and letting go of your pride, you can break out of stubborn behavior and find common ground with others. Remember: it takes courage to recognize our triggers, but once we do, we can begin to work on changing them.
Take the steps outlined in this article to stop being stubborn and make room for compromise. Doing so will help you reach resolutions faster and foster healthier relationships.
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